summer break and everything in between

So, on 24^th June 2019, I’ve finally presented my dissertation. My baby. The journey to complete it is so freaking hard that I sometimes feel like I’m useless. I keep doing this calculation in my head whether I want to continue doing this or I just want to quit. I was thissssss close to quit and get over with it. But then, I thought, I already spent a ridiculous amount of time and money to get here. Takkan nak stop halfway? What would I say to people who knew that I’m currently doing my master? That I quit? Halfway?

So, I decided not to. But still having a nervous breakdown here and there. When I finally succeeded with my simulation, that one freaking thing that scared me the most, I happily went to the progress presentation on the 26^th April 2016. Went to see my SV the next day because she can’t be there on the day of the progress presentation. She’s not very happy with it. Want me to make some modification. Promised her I can try to do it.

Then, I failed. Miserably.

The coding of the simulation is so perfect on its own that if I change only 1 line, it destroyed the whole simulation. 😭

This time, it taking a bigger toll on me. The simulation is there. I can run it. It runs perfectly. But I cannot do it the way how my SV wanted it. So, what do I do? I read and try a lot of suggestion from forums and websites. And if you follow my dissertation journey from the beginning, you know that my topic is the least popular topic. The amount of resource available on the net about my topic is very limited. I decided to ask a question about my simulation to this one forum. The guy kindly responded to it.

I was very glad. Then I decide, instead of trying to change the already perfect simulation, why not I try to sort of ‘manipulate’ it? Time is running low. I know. But then Prof M send us a text about the final presentation and saying that the report should be sent in on 20^th June 2019. Freaked out because it's already 16^th June that day! Spend sleepless night finishing it all up and managed to send it in on time. Last minute work, always worked! Weird. But I guess once the adrenaline kicks in, only then all the brilliant ideas can get out from my brain. 😂😂

So long story short, I managed to ‘manipulate’ the simulation. Presented it quite well. I must say that I am proud of myself in answering all the question the examiners asked during the presentation. The one thing that scared me the most.

So, the presentation went well. The report is OK with a few corrections to be made. I  am supposed to send it in tomorrow to my SV but my brilliant ideas decided not to get to me yet. So here I am writing, to kind of stimulate it a little bit. 😆😆😆

My master’s journey is ending soon. And see you soon K-Drama! Full marathon commencing in less than a month (?). 😊

P/S: On the progress presentation day, we found out the girl that always freeloading in the group assignment, quit. To tell you the truth, I was a bit relieved. She's been bullying me (by freeloading) and I stupidly accepted it (so it's not only her fault). Relieved because all of my doubt about her capabilities is true then. Kan?