Dah mula rasa bosan. 

fav korean TV show.

since GA stop airing in the middle of the new season until I don't know when, I pick up other TV show to keep me entertained. and all of it are korean! HAHAHAH! 

wajib tonton;

- WGM <-- tgk sbb dulu TERfollow episod Kwang-Hee. Pastu terus stuck.bila ntah nak stop.

- Tasty Road <-- mcm sedap sgt makanan2 dorg ni

- Running Man <-- ini satu rumah tgk

- 2 days 1 night <-- baru start tgk. new season lg.tgk first episode mcm best, record series terus. yeay!

- KPOP Star 3!! <-- paling favourite at the moment

Weird.

Today is the 5th day of me taking the viamin. I don't want to keep my hope so high but I think, I'm starting to get to taste something. 

Usually the first bite of anything that I'm having that day. 

Then it will taste bland. I can only taste it on the first bite. 

And there's this weird aftertaste in my mouth all day long. If before this I taste nothing, last couple of days my mouth and tongue taste like I just eat something super sour. 

That kind of aftertaste you get when you eat mangga muda? 

Sometimes it taste fine. Sometimes it get too overwhelmed it taste like vomit. 

Like after you vomit something and your whole mouth taste horrible and you just want to scrub it clean until you can't taste it anymore. The only problem is, it won't go away even after I brush my teeth. 

But I am positive that it's getting better. If it is getting better, thank you Allah! And if its not, I know He have his plan for me. 

InsyaAllah. :)

Goodnight! Salam. 

Okin baby accompany Adik doing his homework. 

Foods that I miss most.

Ma's nasi lemak. 

Chocolates! 

Spaghetti. 

Food that taste ok.

Vegetables. Any kind. But brocolli the best. 

Eggs. Not omelette or half boiled though. Blerghh. 

Fish. The small kind. Or else it'll taste too fishy for me. 

Seafoods. But not the shell one. Haven't eaten prawn yet after the surgery. Dont know how it'll taste. 

Chicken. 

Fast foods.

Like chicken nuggets, sausages, fishballs, etc taste like plastic to me. I guess thats how it supposed to taste? Without all the artificial flavors? Since I cannot taste it anymore. 

Damn you plastic foods! Got fools by you for years. I need to move on from you, fast. 

Part 3.

Yesterday I have an appointment at ENT clinic. I went in hope of getting some new information or reassurance after so much reading I did on my own for the couple of weeks. But I was quickly being brought down to the deepest hole. 

This is the first case for the doctor who operate me. Dr. Y. 

She apparently never had this kind of case. And honestly, I can see she's a little bit afraid that she done something wrong with me.

I don't blame her. Of course! Though I'm not asking for it (losing my sense of taste). 

She seems lost yesterday. She don't know what to do except kept telling me to not thinking about it. 

Tell me how? Please. 

She ask whether I want to be referred to a counsellor to talk about this. I refused. 

Couple of times she said that she's very afraid I fall into depression. Since this thing affect me, emotionally. 

She then prescribed me with Vitamin B12. A vitamin for nerves. In hope that it will help to massage and nurse my nerves back to health. It is for 4 weeks. 

I'm on my second day. 

I am now have to pressured myself to eat because I have to take the meds. 

Before I go out from her room, she assured me that she will help me to settle this thing. She said she will ask around for second opinion and will refer me to neurology department if its going to help.  

I went back to the office feeling very frustrated. 

But life must go on. 

So here I am. Writing my journey to recovery. 

If the statistics I'm reading is right, I got to give this thing another 5 months for it to heal. The nerves I mean. 

If not, I have to wait at least year to regain back my sense of taste. Which I hope not the case. 

P/S: the meal that I remember most, the one when my family and I eat at our favourite place to eat. Before the surgery. We talk about everything that night. I was expressing my fear to not be able to handle the pain after surgery. Which seem so pointless now. HAHAHAHA! 

Part 2.

So yes ladies and gents. I lost my sense of taste after tonsillectomy. And as I said earlier, its very uncommon to have this kind of complication post tonsillectomy. So please don't be afraid to went through tonsillectomy. 

Because I think, not having tonsillectomy and have to endure the agonizing pain of tonsillitis is not good. Especially when you have to take 2-3 course of antibiotics (my case) to fight it off. 

Me. With the most recent case of tonsillitis before I went through tonsillectomy. 

So yeah. The surgery went well. The pain was bearable. The recovery was very slow. But I assure you it will get better. 

But just one thing went wrong. My sense of taste. Last Tuesday was one month post tonsillectomy for me. And the sense of taste still missing. 

People keep cheering (which I loathe) that this will help me lose my weight since I found it. But they don't know how much it affect me. 

I'm fat. Foods is my saviour. My kind of thing. If you guys love outdoor activities, I love food. I am adventurous when it came to foods. I love cooking. Whenever I feel down, I go cook.

So imagine how I felt when I can't even cook. :(

The last thing I ate and taste fine was the chicken soup and rice. If I knew this would happen to me, I would definitely savour every bits of it. 

I am now very sorry that I used to take every bite for granted. In the past I ate because I felt like it. Not because of I'm very hungry. Thus I don't savour the flavour. I ate in front of TV. And don't even focus on how it taste. 

I ate too fast. Just to avoid the lunch crowd. 

Now, if I can get back the sense of taste, I will definitely appreciate every taste, every flavour, the texture. I will eat slow and steady. I can still avoid the lunch crowd. Just focus on my food. 

If you ask me what I miss most for the past one month? 

Sambal ikan bilis. Thats it. I miss the simplicity of it. How you can eat it with rice and nothing else needed. 

And..

Ma's milk tea. The best in the world. :)

Continue to Part 3. 

Part 1.

I don’t know the suitable title that I can put for this post. But I need to write this. I need something to keep me sane and I hope this will be it.

I had an adenotonsillectomy last December. 21^st December 2013 to be exact. I had to go through this procedure because of the recurring tonsillitis over the years. I suffered so much with tonsillitis that I immediately say yes when the doctor suggest to do the procedure.

I had to go through some test before the surgery. Including seeing the anesthesiologist. There’s been some concern about intubation since I’m morbid obese. The day before the surgery, I admitted to ward to get ready for the surgery. I met the doctor that will do the surgery. They also a bit worried about the remarks made by the anesthesiologist and request for another meet up with anesthesiologist.

I then met Dr. X that day. He quickly reassured me that everything would be fine and he’s the one who will tend me in the Operation Theatre (OT). A very nice doctor. I immediately felt relieved. :)

Then, I was served dinner. It was chicken soup with rice and plain water. I eat everything considering the fact that I need to start fasting on 12am. I slept early that night.

Then came the day of the surgery. Woke up pretty early. Doctors came by again that morning. All consents already signed. Including the blood transfusion consent. I was expected to get ready between 10 – 11am. After the doctors go, I get back to my book. Waiting for my parents.

Suddenly at 8.30am the nurse (male nurse, that was so nice and I shall name F), came and told me to change to white gown. Ma and Abah still not arrived. I immediately called them and luckily they already arrived. I’m starting to get nervous and panicked.

I was told to lay on a bed trolley. They push me toward the OT. I was so scared at this point. I kept thinking whether I will go out from the OT, safe or this is it.

The OT was very brightly lit and cold.

Then Dr. X and his friend came and approach me. I was transferred to another bed and the process begin. It was very quick.

Or so I thought. HAHA!

I think the surgery itself was not very long and it went successfully. But I was sent back to my bed at 2pm.

When I woke up, I was on oxygen. And the fourth IV drip. I was feeling fine. Very raw. But fine. The pain was really bearable. Maybe because I survived worse tonsillitis so I felt fine except very high on drug.

The doctors allowed me to eat dinner that day. I try to eat something to regain back some energy. But it was so hard.

That was the hardest part. Eating and drinking after the surgery.

And for the next two weeks after that.

Everything I eat taste unbelievably salty. Even the ice cream. And everything I ate will get stuck at the back of my throat and I have to drink water to release it. And then meal time became my nightmare. I ate just because I have to take medicine prescribed to me.

On January 6^th 2014, I go back to office. The foods still stuck. But I finished the meds. So I don’t feel pressured to eat.

Then one day I felt fine to start eating as normal. No more stuck foods. No more. Then I realize I’m missing something. Everything taste totally bland. Even the most salty food taste nothing to me.

I was afraid. I tried eating ice cream. Bland. I tried Milo with tons of condensed milk. Taste like hot plain water. I tried Ma’s curry. Same thing. Totally bland.

I immediately googled about it. Apparently there are some people with my kind of condition. Not many. But there are. And it’s not common. A lot of people with this condition takes up to one year to get back their sense of taste. 

Continue to part 2.